How to Catch a Cold
It’s that time of the year – cold and flu season! We know that no one actually enjoys a cold but if you plan to catch one, here is a tongue-in-cheek look at steps you can take to make sure you are successful.
Eat a poor diet.
If you want to catch a cold, eat lots of processed foods that have been stripped of their nutritional value. Eat lots of sugar and junk food that is devoid of nutritional value. Nothing will get you as sick as fast as eating a poor diet.
Avoid adequate rest.
Deprive yourself of adequate sleep. Stay up late and reduce the time you sleep as much as possible. Use sugar, sodas, coffee or tobacco or other stimulants to fool yourself into thinking you have plenty of energy.
Unlike the circulatory system, your lymphatic system depends upon exercise and movement to circulate these germ-fighting fluids. Reduce the effectiveness of your immune and lymphatic systems by not exercising. Plus, you avoid the natural stress-reduction benefits of regular exercise.
Rarely wash your hands.
Increase your chances of catching a cold by compromising your personal hygiene. Remember to use your dirty hands and fingers to rub your eyes, scratch your nose or wipe your lips.
Think negative thoughts.
Look for opportunities to visualize having a cold. Pay attention to news reports about outbreaks of the flu and pay close attention to advertising that sells medications for cold sufferers.
Stress yourself physically by experiencing extreme temperature and humidity changes. Stress yourself mentally with constant worry or fear. Worry about the things you have no control over and complain to anyone who will listen.
Avoid drinking enough water. Reduce the effectiveness of your natural defense mechanisms and other bodily functions by avoiding fluids.
Neglect your chiropractic adjustment.
Ignore your nervous system, the master system of your body. Studies have shown that an adjustment increases your immune response so if you want to get sick, skip your adjustment this month.
Laughter is the best medicine so I hope you got a few laughs out of this step-by- step guide to catching a cold. Keep healthy this winter with regular adjustments!